The business and the marriage break up, while not simultaneous, shattered me emotionally and physically. I was desperate, had suicidal thoughts but was too proud (and scared) to talk about it. While I managed to get through it, I was unknowingly scarred and never dealt with the emotional issues that tortured me for so long.

Over the next ten years, I built two new small businesses and then married the person I considered my soul-mate; I had never been happier. During this time, I discovered free-diving and while no depth expert, I found great enjoyment and passion for breathwork and the health benefits outside of diving. It helped with realising what my body could accomplish; usually so greatly held back by the mind. I started teaching breath-hold techniques to build confidence in the water, both for adults and kids, which continues today.

While the businesses continue to do well, without realising the ‘signs’, my marriage ended abruptly and uncontrollably. This took me to a whole new level of pain and despair. With the loss of my marriage I knew that I was unlikely to have a family of my own, whatever that might look like and I had no vision or sense of purpose. I lived in my car for a period as I didn’t want to be around people and didn’t speak to a soul about it. For me, I’d hit rock bottom.

In this anguish and the darkest of thoughts, I made a decision. I was either going down a very bad path which I wasn’t sure I’d be able to come back from, or I was going to evaluate all aspects of my life, how I viewed the world and where I belonged in it; I made the choice to truly live.

It was a simple choice but one that took a mountain of resilience, vulnerability and ongoing self-reflection and learning over several years, to find a new purpose and direction in life, and it went way beyond even that. 

Throughout this time, while fulfilling a significant resource for many, a traditional counsellor and psychologist wasn’t what I needed. I didn’t want an academically educated ‘ear’ as I felt they couldn’t actually relate to what I was going through. I wanted someone who had been through the same pain and not only come out the other side, but had found some way of growing as a result.

I came to understand the emotional barriers, social conditioning and ego driven behaviours that hold so many of us back from realising our true potential.